I haven't updated this blog in a while, mainly because I haven't had much to say. My aunt passed away over 3 weeks ago and its still something I'm struggling with. I wrote something about a few weeks ago after she passed and I'm going to copy and paste it here.
There are really no words that we can express to explain how much we loved her, I think she knew that but maybe it wasn’t enough, I really don’t know. During this time I’m sure we all are trying to analyze and determine just why my aunt felt she that this path she chose for herself was necessary. In the end we can speculate but we really have no clue, all we can do now is express our gratitude for having her in our lives. Over the last few days we’ve been comforted by our family members who have said that maybe she’s in a better place now and that she can start over. I understand that sentiment but all I can really think about is, and all I really want to do is see her again, speak with her again, watch while she’s cooking at one of our family gatherings, see her smile whenever she sees her daughter, nieces, nephews and their children all having a wonderful time.
I lived with her for most of my childhood and the last 5 or so years. I consider her basically my second mom that’s why its especially hard.
My aunt was such a giving person in so many ways. For years she would make these yellow pastries for the local temple so that they could offer them to visitors. She dedicated the last 15 or so years of her life to taking care of our grand parents. I remember that she would call and ask me if I had a class at night or after work if I had eaten yet because she always wanted to make sure I ate. Just as my mom does, she would tell me daily that I should eat breakfast more often or else when I grew older, I’d have stomach problems.
Over the course of the years she has made many items for her loved ones because she wanted to, she was just that type of person, whether it was a purse or a dress or a scarf, she was a giver and she always got so much satisfaction by seeing the smile we gave to her. She didn’t expect anything for her acts, that’s what made her special to us. She was always one of our most dependable family members and the fact that she’s gone now makes it really hard to even breath, let alone talk. There’s so much more I want to say about her but it would take too much time here to discuss. There’s no real right way to end this but I keep repeating this in my head: ‘She’s gone now, I wish, more than anything in this world, that it weren’t so.’
